The Rise and Fall of Trumpymandias

Emperor of Dumbfuckistan

A Report on a Pilgrimage by a Certain Scholar

as told to a fellow scholar, Dr. Ray Healey¹

Written by Dr. Ray Healey

A certain scholar of my acquaintance recently made a pilgrimage to a sacred site in Thebes, where, in the 13th century, the empire of a mighty Tyrant once stood, a reign later immortalized by the poet Percy B. Shelley. Digging in the ruins, the scholar discovered an ancient scroll, on which appeared the following lines:

Trumpymandias

I met a traveler from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and cryptic slabs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,

half sunk, a shattered golden hairpiece lies, whose owner’s

pouting lips, and sneer of cold contempt,

Tell that its maker well those passions read,

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The mouth that mocked us, and the heart of stone:

And on the pedestal these words appear: