If…, Then…

Dr. Ray Healey
8 min readOct 27, 2020

Top 20 Hypothetical Questions for The Denizens of Dumbfuckistan, Re: Their King Dumbfuck

Trump Announces His Candidacy for President in June 2015.

Written by Dr. Ray Healey

If you think a man who boasts about grabbing women “by the pussy” is fit to be president, then you are not only ignorant but you are stupid as well, not to mention that you are crude and coarse and sexist and vile and vicious — and your political judgment is warped and fatally flawed

Photographer-Rosa Pineda

If you think a man who separates immigrant children from their parents and puts them in cages, is fit to be president, then you are not only ignorant and stupid, but you also clearly have a vicious character, not to mention no sense of morality, and you deserve to be locked up in a cage yourself.

Overcrowding at the US border patrol station in McAllen, Texas, on 10 June, 2019. The team who visited the center in Clint found children did not have adequate access to drinking water or food. Photograph: Handout/Getty Images

If you think a man who, the minute he announced he was running for president, after slithering down an escalator, called Mexican immigrants “murderers and rapists”– is fit to be president — then you are not only ignorant and stupid, but you are such a lousy judge of character that, if having decent judgment were a test for voting, you would fail miserably.

Donald Trump descends Trump Tower on an escalator to announce his candidacy for US president on 16 June 2015. Photograph: Christopher Gregory/Getty Images

If you think a man who took the word of Vladimir Putin about whether Russia interfered with and tried to sabotage the 2016 presidential election (in order to get Trump elected), over the conclusive intelligence findings of the broad spectrum of U.S. intelligence agencies — is fit to be president — then you are so clearly colossally ignorant, incredibly stupid, and unbelievably gullible — that maybe we should send you to spend a long vacation as Putin’s guest in Siberia.

US President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin at a joint press conference after their summit on July 16, 2018, in Helsinki, Finland — with notetakers around.



Dr. Ray Healey

English Lit. Professor. Novelist and short story writer. Adventurer: Pamplona Bull Running, Boston Marathon, "Deliverance" River Running, Cross Country Bike,…