An Address to the Annual Covention of the Quack Doctors of America

Prescription: Tell Your Patients to Act like Zeus.

Zeus Fucks Queen Leda on the balcony of her palace in Sparta.

Zeus Fucks Queen Leda: Take Two. Italian Sculpture at the Jai Vilas Palace, in Gwalior, India.

[In full disclosure, I submitted this piece at the end of April 2021 to the 2021 Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge, a comedy competition run through Medium.com. There were 482 submissions at the required 800-word length. I did not get past the first round, even though, to my mind, my piece was really fuckin’ funny — and in my view the 10 finalists were not as funny. You can be the judge because at the end of my piece I have included links to the Top 10 picked. After you read my piece, perhaps you will let me know whether I made your Top 10.]

I am dedicating this story to my old friend, Prof. Drew Huebner of the Hostos CC English Dept., who played Zeus in my first production of “A Night with The Great Odysseus: Sacker of Cities.” It was an epic performance.

By: Dr. Ray Healey

Ladies and gentlemen, and distinguished doctors — I’m Dr. Feelgood, and my job is to make you feel good.

How? I help you score drugs.